sick of being sick.

I’m so sorry I haven’t been blogging for quite some time now, I’ve just been sick since sunday night, so I didn’t really feel like it..

Btw. I’m so fucking tired of being sick all the time…. I get sick almost every single time I decide to do something good and healthy for myself and my body – Friday, my boyfriend and I decided to start working out a lot more, than what we’ve been doing so far since we joined our local fitness center and we actually made a plan for this week, so we would actually do it, which said we had to exercise 4 days out of the 7… – Then I got sick… and you shouldn’t exercise when you’ve caught a cold and a fever.. 
This happens to me ALL THE FUCKING TIME!..

I remember a little over 2 years ago; I’ve been struggling with losing weight and finding the motivation and the right way to do it since I got back home from America (in 2009), where I was living and going to school as an exchange student for a year – I had gained over 10 kilos while staying there… In the mid-end of 2010 I finally found my motivation! I went to the gym 5-6 days a week (some weeks 7 days a week), while trying to eat as healthy as I could (while living at home) and then I went on a “no-sugar”-diet as well(which to me meant, no candy, no cake, no soda, no chips, no ice cream, no chocolate, no white bread, pasta or rice etc.). It all went so well! But in the beginning I actually only gained weight, and I was so sad because my weight just kept going up, even though I knew it was just muscles and even though I knew I lost centimeters all over my body – I just didn’t like to see the weighing scale go up all the time… Well, finally after gaining a little over 6 kilos of muscle, I started losing weight – fat, this time! I was so overly super happy that day, I remember, and it just got me even more motivated – What I was doing was working – my hard work was paying off!
BUT! I didn’t get to lose more than about 3 kilos of fat before all of my hard work was ruined…….. In december 2010, I got mono (aka. the “kissing disease”) and I just couldn’t do anything else than lie in my bed or on the couch for a month.. I lost weight rapidly, just not in a good way.. ’cause what I lost was all of the muscle I had just built up, and while that was happening I gained all of the fat I had just lost – which meant; I was now set back to square one.. 
I started school again in january 2011, even though I wasn’t all better yet, and wasn’t allowed to speak for 2 weeks, because I was that hoarse and had almost completely lost my voice for 5 weeks at that point.
In april 2011, I could finally start exercising again, but I had to start up slowly – I was in such a bad shape and had the worst condition EVER, right there.. I could only stay on the cross trainer for 5 minutes, tops! – and that was actually pushing myself to the limit.

Well, at least I’m in better shape now, but I’ve been fighting to get my motivation back ever since…. and every time I get it back, I get sick… So I mean it’s really like someone just doesn’t wants me to succeed.. It’s really like someone just wants to make it hard for me.. I really don’t get it?
Well, that was it.. I was just trying to make out my point with an example – I know it was sort of a loooooong example though, haha sorry :)

I so hope I’m feeling better tomorrow so I can start working out and eating healthy again! :D 

Goodnight, I need to get some more rest now :*