I. FREAKING. LOVE. AALBORG…. nuff said!

Aalborg is one of my ultimate favorite cities in the whole wide world!.. I always enjoy being here, that’s for sure – I love the city, I love the nature, and I most of all love the family and friends I’ve got here, it’s so nice :) :)

This time, we’ve been here since sunday and sadly we’re already going home tomorrow :(
I brought my SLR camera along with me, which I got to capture some pretty neat moments with!.. Just take a look at these photos:

March 24th

We arrived at my grandparents’ house, where we normally stay when we’re in Aalborg – I was a little tired after the long drive, haha :D

I just fooled around the house a little, taking pictures of their home ;)

March 25th

My dad and I went to Fitness.dk to work out together and later on we went to “Bone’s” to get dinner – I ate WAAAYYY too much food (like always).. I had a huge bowl of salad, corn on the cob, onion rings, and fried potato slices with a whiskey sauce on the side.. as I said; waaaayyyy too much food! :D

The 46 big and beautiful roses were from my grandpa to my grandma, because it was their 46th anniversary this day – so cute <3

March 26th

I went out shopping with my grandma, where she made me choose my own easter present.. I chose a bag for my SLR and a tripod for it as well, and then I also got two pairs of leggins – I was a happy kid yesterday! haha :)

Afterwards we went to “Café Klædeskabet” to grab a bite to eat – I will do a post later on, where I will review the place and tell you guys about it, so stay tuned!

Later that same day; the “windmill factory” was on fire! :O ..I know it’s serious, but I had to get some pictures of the thick black smoke!

At night, one of my best friends and I went down to the inlet to take pictures of the sunset – It was beautiful! <3

March 27th aka. today

My dad and I went to Fitness.dk once again – It was SO nice to work out! :)
….and then other than that and a shower, I haven’t been doing much yet haha… so yeah.. I hope you guys are enjoying this easter break :) :) 

Time to watch movies and eat candy from “Nam Nam Slik”!!!

I am SO happy and I feel SO SO proud of myself today!!!.. The reason for that, is that I haven’t used my nasal spray for 3 days now! 3 fucking whole days! I am one little proud girl! :D Wauw, I really sound like an addict right now haha – but really I actually am…..

I’ve been addicted to nasal spray on/ off since I was like 4 years old, so this is like a really big deal for me! ..This last period, I was addicted to it for 18 weeks, and it says on the label on the nasal sprays that you shouldn’t use them for more than max. 10 days in a row, 3 times a day… I used it 6 times a day for 18 weeks… wauw it’s so dumb.. At least, in the end I only used it 2-4 times a day – combined with this saltwater nasal spray I’ve also got.. But 3 days ago, I decided to just stop even though my nose was all clogged up – so I did :) :)

I’ve stopped using nasal spray soooo many times before, and then short after, I was addicted again… I always felt the same way when I stopped, but this time I felt different from any of the other times that I had stopped – And I realized something….. the sadest part is that, I actually found out that it had all been mental.. It was all just up in my head… I thought I was just addicted in the sense of the nasal spray working the opposite way because I had used it too much and that was why I got clogged up the whole time… But it wasn’t like that….. I had actually been addicted to it for real… Everytime my nose was clogged up, it was myself who had created it in my head… Like, you could tell it was that way, because everytime I’ve felt clogged up these past days.. I just had to relax and wait for maybe 30 minutes and then I just wasn’t clogged up anymore… then it happened again, and I did the same thing.. and then it just disappeared?.. This happened over and over again… but today I kinda had it all under control, so I haven’t been clogged up at all today actually! YAY!! I feel good :D I also realized that I’ve really got a problem, ’cause even though I’ve been able to breathe perfectly fine through my nose today, I have been SO close to using my nasal spray! The entire day I’ve had to tell myself “no!” – I really feel like I just need it!!… I think it has had a calming affect on me, and maybe that’s why?.. But it’s kinda sick to think about, that I got to be so addicted……

Well, now I’m just looking forward to hopefully a lot more days without that stupid nasal spray and I will let you guys know how I’m doing, staying away from it in the future – I need to… ’cause what’s really sad is that I know I can’t use nasal spray anymore for the rest of my life, because I can feel that, if I just use it ONCE again in maybe 5 years – BAHM! then I’m right back and addicted again…….. and I don’t want to be, even though I already miss it..

GUYS! Promise me something; DO NOT GET ADDICTED TO NASAL SPRAY….. EVER!!!.. and if you already are… then STOP!.. I’m telling you to stay away from that shit! It can ruin your taste buds and olfaction… just saying – And you don’t want that.. Trust me!

Waaaaauuuww!.. I just did 590 words on nasal spray! haha :D

Goodnight people <3

Hi all you beautiful creatures!

I totally forgot to show you something after this long “blogging-break” I’ve been on…
I finally received the whole “Beautiful”-series of books!!! ..aaand I’m so excited to read them all! :D

Don’t you think the covers are beautiful? I do :) <3

So I haven’t been blogging for a while now.. There are so many reasons for that, but well, this is what I started writing approximately 2 weeks ago… I never got to publish it though….. I just felt like I couldn’t – Something stopped me… I guess it was just too hard, but here it goes:

“I don’t know what to do or say right now……. I really just want to do all of these posts… I just can’t…….. I can’t overcome anything anymore.. It has all come to be too much now.
It’s hard…… life is hard – I used to think that life was so easy to live and it was only ourselves that made it hard.. I was wrong….. But I mean, it was a perfectly positive way to look at it – It was just not reality..
You see, life is complicated.. There are so many different “recipes” on how to live your life the perfect and ideal way.. It’s just that none of them are correct – They’re all right and they’re all wrong. We’re all different. We all live our lives differently… and the truth is.. that only YOU know how to live YOUR life the best way, in order to be happy and reach your goals in life. So what’s right for you, may not be right for me. That’s how it is.

Well, now I’m sidetracked from this “story”…..

So this is how I’m feeling these days..
…I’m all alone – even when I’m with people, I still feel like the loneliest girl in this world.
I cry all the time…. and when you don’t see me crying – if you see me smiling – trust me, I’m still crying.. it’s just on the inside.
I’m so freaking tired all the time – I just want to go to bed when I get home from school.. nothing more, nothing less.
I don’t even feel like eating these days – and that does not seem like me – but I do it anyway because I know it’s good for me.
My psoriasis and my rashes seem to get worse the whole time.. It’s all coming back rapidly – Like god, I HATE this.
And once again, I don’t want to see anybody – but really!… I try SO hard to be social… I don’t wanna risk losing anymore friendships, like the last time I went through a rough period like this – That only made Things worse.
But still, what can I do?… I don’t feel capable of anyting – Mostly I just find myself wanting to quit – just wanting to quit everything………”

Well, as I mentioned in the beginning, I didn’t publish this… probably because it was opening up a little too much, a little too fast for me, I guess.. But today I’m feeling better – so I felt like putting it out there anyway :) 
Also… a couple of weeks ago after writing this, I found that I had turned into some sort of a “robot”… Suddently after having felt all of these strong emotions I felt… NOTHING!..
It was like my soul had just left my body – It was such a surreal experience!?
The only feeling I had left, was that I was scared… I was scared I was soon losing myself completely after 5 years of intense “personality-crisis”… It was like I had turned into stone – My mind was cold as ice and it was like I was becoming immune to emotions…. I therefore tried to fake myself into feeling something, and actually after a while it helped and I could finally feel again – just the same old sadness – but it was better than feeling nothing.

I hope that everything will get better from now on – I know I can get through this!.. I’ve been through so much – I know I can!
Finally after 5 years, I’m trying to go see I psycologist and then I also need to get my work-outs started – Let’s hope it all makes me feel better very soon :) :)

I know it’s one step at a time… and today I am happy :)